"Could be worse"

Powered up my ipod today for the 1st time in so long and the 1st song to come on was the very beginning of "Our God" How fitting, "Our God is greater, Our God is stronger, God you are HIGHER than any other, Our God is HEALER AWESOME AND POWER Our God!"


 
My wonderful friend Megan sent me a few passages from her devotion today:
our sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth~ Psalms 71:5
so don't fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. ~ Isaiah 41:10
Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him ~ Jeremiah 17:7
Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is your refuge! Psalms 62:8
May the God of hope fill you with joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit ! Romans 15:13

I just updated Gavin's blog Sunday night after his 1st birthday party, kind of kicking myself for slacking a bit in the updating however he has been doing so great there really wasn't news to tell. Well all things changed...

He had been under the weather since his birthday Friday, April 29th. The previous week he had become picking eating and sleeping often, sleeping in until 10-11,( you know I wasn't complaining) Waking up with puffy eyes, but over all happy go lucky Gavin. Sunday was his bday party. Needless to say everyone partied but him. He was so pitiful, he slept the entire time. We took him the a local ER, they said he was slightly dehydrated. He had plenty to drink Saturday and Sunday, yet no urination. They weren't alarmed. (DON'T ASK MY WHY) Cold hands and feet, clammy skin, sweaty, pale and SLEEPY. Discharged Monday morning around 2:30am we went home and went to bed.



Monday afternoon, I thought that nothing added up. No fever, no pee, no crying, no eating, no dirty diapers, just sleep and sweat and cold and no fever. "What is wrong with him?" I asked, while staring at him on the floor, looking so pitiful, sleeping still. Something dawned on me, it was like a light bulb went off. I heard, "He has Congestive Heart Failure" No, seriously? 1 year after his surgery? His anniversary is this Friday, can that be possible. I read my handbook given to us by U of M, it was clear as could be. Gavin was a checklist of symptoms. He had 95% of the symptoms. Daddy and I took him to U of M ER.

I can not explain the comfort and happiness we felt being there. Yes, it was sad and we were scared but so relieved to be here where we knew we would get answers and he would get the care he needed.
The little guy was retaining fluid, yet he was intravascular dehydrated. They gave him a chest xray and stomach xray( to check for obstruction of the bowl ), tired to take blood labs but he was so dehydrated and swollen that his vein were disappearing, once poked here or there he wasn't giving up any blood. I've never seen nurses struggle so much to get drops of blood from a someone. His poor little limbs, hands and feet were so puffy/swollen.  He came back and they gave him an echo. Gavin layed there as still as can be for an 80min echo. There was the answer. He had stenosis( narrowing) of the pulmonary arteries, his Right ventricle was dilated, not pumping well at all, working extremely hard.



Echo in the U of M ER. Answers to so many questions. A 12month old does not sit stil for a min. He didnt move for over an hour while they looked at his heart. We are so proud of you Gavin.

After  evaluation a heart cath is ordered for sometime this afternoon (Tuesday) to look at the conduit that is now to narrow/ tight for his body. This is not a defect of the conduit, it's just how is body has healed.  There is obstruction in the bottom of the conduit, the valve and it happens. They are hoping by the cath, that a balloon or stint will open the narrowing and to investigate the pulmonary arteries and take pressure readings and intervine if needed there.

Surgery is definitely in his near future. Closer than we all had prepared for.  The news was scary and it still. I immediately fell relieved that we were here. Some people don't believe that God can talk to you. I hasn't happened to my allot but I can say that I am confident that he spoke to me yesterday. No, it's not rumbling voice that I hear telling me what's wrong with my son, in a deep voice, but more like a clear statement, direct and to the point. After asking to myself, "What is wrong with him?" It clicked, I clearly heard, He has Congestive Heart Failure. Complete clairity. No hesitation, no questions. just answers. I got my handbook, read the symptoms, called U of M, made plans to have a cardiac nurse call back, I immediately started packing, with out thinking. We decided we just need to go, they are going to send us up there anyway and even if they said to just see, we were still driving out there regardless, so here we arel. Waiting for news weather or not he's going to need surgery this week ?

I thank God that we came and he received these test. His condition since we've been here less than 24 hrs has rapidly decreased. God led us here! His Will, will be done. 

Is it wrong to pray that his "Will" is to heal and allow us to keep Gavin longer? It feels like it's wrong. Our faith is in him, Our God, Our Healer.